Friday, March 30, 2012

Finally, an MMO for Furries: The Mists of Pandaria!

In a slick maneuver (or cynical plot, depending on your point of view) that only bolsters their reputation for peerless business acumen, the folks at Actiblizzion have conceived a new expansion for their mega-meal ticket World of Warcraft that will debut sometime later this year.  It is called the Mists of Pandaria and features the arrival of new gaming zones full of amazing stereotypes and the addition of a playable race that is sure to bring the "hardcore gamer" element back into WoW.

That's right all you bear-men, cat-girls and stuffed animal molesters, this one's for you!

Hearken unto the words of the Great Lord Pandaro!  It is time to shamble forth from your crusty bowers and migrate to the Digital Promised Land, a place that is blissfully anonymous so that you can engage in salacious emotes with other skinwalkers while 13 year olds gank you in mid-rut.  Come to Pandaria!  Leave behind the cream-of-mushroom-soup scent of regret that suffuses your apartment, the judging glares directed at you by the Straight World and the lonely Saturday nights spent pawing at your access flap.  Be what you were always meant to be!

At long last, the good people running Wolf Quest can finally get back to their serious work of educating future generations about the behavioral habits of Canis Lupus without having to break out the firehose every time "SilverWind69" and "SubMissive" start sniffing each others' butts.

I'll be rolling a Pandarian named "Safeword".  Come join me so that the "Cuddle Patrol" can put Azeroth in a ball-gag together!

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha! That would almost make starting a WoW account again worth it. My character name would be Axessesflaap.